I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
