You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
