He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
