this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize