She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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