i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
