Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
