Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think my nap took me to another dimension
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
FUCK WHALES
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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