so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
