You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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