Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
