this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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