so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize