My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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