You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
