Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
