But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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