as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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