We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
