rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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