Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
