note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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