My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
