I've blown a few things in my day
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
