Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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