I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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