so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
