My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
