butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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