Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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