well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
