He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize