WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
