what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
