My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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