I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
