a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
