Christians are straight up FREAKS
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
