whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
