Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
