It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
