Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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