haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I faked an abortion last night.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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