WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
