i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Randomize
