I'm so fucking centered right now
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Found your dick twin last night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
