Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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