i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
