it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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