The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
