Well apparently he's into motor boating.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
