she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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