I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
