So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
