A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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