dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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