better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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