covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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