just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
