this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just pee around me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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