the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
