i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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