The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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