they need to just BURY HIM!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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