Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
