The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
