We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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