Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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