Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this just has baby written all over it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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