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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I did the walk of shame to church this morning.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  hooker boots and all?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Every man deserves at least one moment like that

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• (667): View more from Maryland

  what customs doesn't know wont hurt them

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• (909): View more from California

  When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?

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• (331): View more from Illinois

  So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.

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