New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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