so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
