My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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