Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
