Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize