dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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