wanna go halves on a baby?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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