this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
