then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
